5 Questions to Ask Your Team to Increase Trust and Boost a Sense of Belongig

Almost everyone would agree that trust is the basis for fantastic teamwork. Yet here we are in the business context, wearing our business masks shielded to protect ourselves from hurtful feedback or to come across as a professional person who really has their life together (as if anyone who does). 

We're still living according to the philosophy that work and our personal lives should be strictly separated for a good work-life balance. Work is where your business persona is active and life is where you can let your hair down. But we happen to spend 90.000 hours of our lives at work on average and as Annie Dillard famously said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” 

Trust isn’t just a prerequisite for hyper aligned teams and great performance but also for a sense of belonging, inclusion and overall wellbeing.

HERE ARE THE 5 QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK TO INCREASE TRUST IN YOUR TEAM.

Let’s start with something easy that most people don’t do:

1. “How are you REALLY?”

We tend to run around asking those rushed how are you’s, only to answer “fine” and move on with the to-do list. But when you ask “how are you REALLY?” or “how is FINE?”, that’s an opportunity for a moment of human connection. 

If you’ve never done this in your team, people are likely to be weirded out, so you may want to go first and perhaps say something like:

“I want to try something new. Rather than those rushed, ‘how are you’s’, I’d like to take time for a real check-in, giving each of us a minute to answer the question “how are you really?”. I’ll go first: “I am currently a bit under the weather because of my tuna-addicted cat who woke me up 3 times last night. I am also feeling a sense of pressure to nail that shareholder presentation next Monday. Honestly, I am both nervous and excited which is usually a great combo for a good story line.” Or whatever it is you are feeling right now. 

2. "If your current state of being were the weather, what would it be and why?"

Some people have trouble sharing how they are. So it helps to give them a metaphor to hold onto. Whether it’s the weather or a hollywood movie, these questions dive deeper than your average watercooler chat.

They allow team members to share meaningful aspects of their lives, creating a space for real empathy and connection. When people feel understood and valued beyond their work role, they trust more. Plus, you might find some shared interests that spark unexpected connections. It’s all about making everyone feel that they matter.

3. “Let’s all share a moment where a team member’s actions positively impacted our day!”

You know how feedback as a negative connotation because everyone is secretly expecting to be told off in a diplomatic way? This question is ultimately a round of positive feedback. Public shout-outs create a culture of gratitude and mutual respect. When team members feel appreciated, their motivation and morale skyrocket. Recognising each other's contributions not only boosts individual confidence but also strengthens team unity. 

4. "What’s a challenge you’re currently facing, and how can we support you?

Sharing vulnerabilities might sound scary, but it’s a goldmine for trust. When team members see that it’s safe to be open about their struggles and mistakes, it breaks down walls. It shows everyone that they’re not alone in their challenges, fostering a supportive environment where people aren’t afraid to take risks and be real. Vulnerability is the secret sauce to deeper connections and a more cohesive team.

5. "What’s a tradition from your culture or family that you love?"

Exploring each other’s backgrounds and personal stories enriches the team’s understanding and appreciation of diversity. These sessions break down stereotypes and build a more inclusive and supportive environment. Plus, you get to learn some really cool stuff about your colleagues that you wouldn’t have known otherwise.

If sharing true stories is not at all what the team is used to, we like to introduce the concept of “selective authenticity”: “I invite you to share authentically, but only to the degree that it feels safe. Selective authenticity means picking the degree of disclosure that feels comfortable today and being real in whatever you share.”

Building trust in your team doesn’t have to be boring or stiff. These questions help your team feel like a real crew. And: There’s more were these came from. If you ever need a good icebreaker, we’re one email or Linkedin message away.